YIKES!!!

I'm sitting here looking at My 9 month old son,and a pang of desperate sadness comes over Me...The realization that I'm going to be giving up My fertility has just suddenly dawned on Me,and become real finally...It's sad...even though I know I am doing the right thing and what's neccessary for Me,I feel a wanting...and terrible sadness....I go in for an endometrial biopsy tomorrow,which is what they do apparently as a "pre-screening" for the hysterectomy itself...I was just informed by the secretary on the phone,that I will not have any sedation at all for this,not even so much as a pain pill even,and she recommended that I take something if I have it beforehand. Gee thanks! Had I not asked her about it,I would have never have known,that I get nothing! Whatever,just thinking of the doc sticking pinchers in My who-ha,ain't sounding too fun to Me!!! I feel that pang again the "female calling of childbearing" and I gulp bitterly and feel sad. This is what needs to be done,this is what HAS to be done. Still as a woman,it doesn't make it any easier to give up! Just sayin...