Scared To Death!!?

I just saw a picture of what a real uterus and ovaries looks like,with the connecting cervix that some woman had removed,and I just realized omg I'm getting rid of My womb and My eggs!!! It just frightens Me to death,because some of those eggs could have been My children...I feel this overwhelming feeling of weirdness ,loss and sadness,accompanied by some uncertainty. I know I'm going through with the surgery,but it just scares Me,fear of the unknown.I've never NOT had a womb or ovaries before...Scared...

Ewww!!!

Apparently My annoying teenaged daughter thinks that Mom's woman problems are "gross". I can't even talk to MY own Mom about My issues and she had the same problems,and we were discussing it,and My 15 year old daughter just can't seem to shut her mouth when I was having a private conversation about heavy bleeding. Then when discussing the "vibrating uterus" issue I have going right now that is apparently "unexplainable" by the medical community,I was talking to My hubby about it,that they call it "phantom flutters" My big mouthed ahole teenaged daughter "OMG I'm SO sick of hearing it,just stop talking!" Who the hell ever said I was talking to her?! Her Dad told her to shut her mouth,she kept going on...Sorry Mommie's female problems bother YOU princess! It was MY womb that gave you life,learn to be more sensative you little shit!!!!

Everything I Feel In Pictures

Hopefully these will load,this is how I feel right now...

Everything I Feel In Pictures

Hopefully these will load,this is how I feel right now...

Biopsy Results

My endometrial biopsy turned out non cancerous thank God!!! However I have almost 3 times the normal amount of uterine lining which makes My periods a living nightmare. Everythings a go for May 1st.

Cursed! Last Period Horror...

Well I did what My hubby told Me not to do. I taunted My last period and said "Oh this is My last period yay!" And of course it's hitting Me with avengence,and then some!!! I can't even get up without the blood pouring out of Me,and the tons of clots accompanying it...I was supposed to work today but can't now that I'm losing as much blood as I've been,and in such thick quantities. I know I've made the right choice by getting rid of My lady parts! I'm miserable dealing with this,it leaves Me laid up and unable to do much of anything... This sucks! I can't even cough,or sneeze,without blood spattering EVERYWHERE!!! :-(
My husband says that I'm like those elevator doors in "The Shining",where all the blood splashes out all at once. Except honestly,I think it's even worse than that!!! It's SO bad that now I have to wear 2 overnight pads,2 depends diapers AND a puppy pad ALL at ONE time. And I'm lucky if that even covers it! I just want this over with...I've had MORE than enough!!!! :-(

MAY 1st Oh Happy Day!

Counting down the days till surgery,looking forward to feeling better! I'm so sick and tired,of being sick and tired!!! I have like no energy,and worn out from My period already,and having blinding headaches. All I wanna do is effing sleep or lay down. I seriously hope this surgery will help with My energy level!